AN AMICABLE DIVORCE WILL REQUIRE YOUR FOCUS ON THESE PRINCIPLES

How does a person succeed in getting an amicable divorce instead of being drug through the hot fires of a contested War of the Roses? One family law professional proposes a few guidelines to keep a divorce in Michigan and other states on the straight and narrow path to an amicable ending. But pay heed to one warning: none of this works without your own resolute commitment, and your ability to keep a sharp eye out for disrupting influences.

First, those who check their anger meters at the doors of the courthouse or the lawyer’s office will succeed better than those who are fuming up clouds of angry venom throughout the divorce process. Remember that anger is self-referring and contagious at the same time. It can skyrocket emotions to the breaking point if no one sits back and tries to cool things off.

Use a cost-benefit analysis that allows you to compromise where you can see equivalent benefits to you in the interchange. Take a look at the divorce big picture and see whether in fact you’re getting what you need to exist or not. Remember, extended fighting will build up your fees and may end up defeating your purpose in fighting in the first place.

Keep a broad perspective on the results. Remember that no one is winning out. Both sides have to make sacrifices, and the gut-wrenching closing of friendships, family ties, and social outlets that were built up over a period of years or decades is not going to be a pleasant thing. Just keep focused on getting what you need to ensure a viable economic future, with all circumstances considered. Remember that this too will pass!

Also, don’t get sidetracked by the ‘committee’ of friends, family and others who know what’s best for you, or who taunt you with promises that you’re giving up the ship. It’s never that simple, and what is good for the goose is not always good for the gander. Finally, find divorce counsel in Michigan who will follow your lead if you want to have an amicable divorce process. This will not mean surrender, but keeping things in a reasonable, respectful perspective as the details are ironed out.

Source: Huffington Post, “Alison Heller: 5 Steps to a Clean Divorce,” Alison Heller, May 31, 2013