HOW DIVORCED DADS CAN MAINTAIN A LOVING RELATIONSHIP WITH THEIR CHILDREN

Custody decisions after a divorce may leave you feeling stripped of your right to be more than just a father – to be an involved dad. You might fear that you won’t be able to truly be there for your children when custody is divided with your ex-spouse. However, a divorce doesn’t have to guarantee an unfilled relationship between a father and his children. While a custody decision may not be ideal, you can still set a positive example for your children and truly participate as an active and attentive dad in their lives.

An important thing for divorced fathers to remember is that, regardless of what factors led to the divorce, their children still need them. They still need the positive male influence that they would enjoy if there had never been a divorce in the first place. Many men find it difficult to maintain a strong emotional connection when they only see their kids a few times a month. However, instead of viewing shared custody as an obstacle, you should think of it as an opportunity form a connection with your children that you never could before. Perhaps you were always busy with work and never had the time to play with them or learn about their lives. You can use your time with them to devote your full attention to playing, laughing, listening, and providing the kind of guidance that earns you the title of “dad.”

While you might not see your kids as much as you’d like, you should never have to feel like a part-time dad. You can still go to their sports matches, plays at school, and any other important events in their lives. They may not hop in your car after the event, but your presence shows them you care and gives you the feeling of fulfillment that a father needs.

Another important point to remember is that after the divorce, your children have two homes and two sets of rules. They are not simply visiting you when they stay with you. Your home is theirs as well. In addition to making your children feel comfortable and at home when they’re with you, you should make it clear that there are rules at Dad’s house, just like there are rules at Mom’s house. You are in charge of your home and you get to make the rules. Make your children aware that “But Mom says” or “Mom lets us” is not an excuse in your home. In the same way that your rules don’t apply in your ex-wife’s home, her rules don’t need to govern your home.

A divorce is certainly a trying experience, but it doesn’t have to drive a wedge between you and your children. If you’re headed toward divorce, the best thing you can do is secure the help of an experienced child custody lawyer who specializes in helping men reach fair custody agreements after a divorce. Contact the attorneys at Bailey Smith & Bailey today to request a consultation with a divorce attorney who is ready to help you emerge from this difficult experience as a loving and attentive dad.