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We discussed in the last blog how you may expect to suffer certain normal tribulations that tend to haunt people going through a divorce. This blog is based on a report by a prominent psychologist and life coach who takes the analysis a step or two further to give an inspiring final conclusion. Whether you reside in Michigan or elsewhere, the final determination of whether the divorce turns out ultimately to be a positive or negative life experience is in your own hands and mind.
It’s understandable that the first reaction to a divorce is going to be a disheartening one that leaves an initial hollow feeling in the pit of your stomach. After all, it’s a confession that something failed. It was something that began with the greatest hope and with no expectations of getting a divorce.
But before that initial sense of horrible defeat entrenches itself, first look at the choices you have for your present and your future. One of those takes you into the cold world of constantly remembering the resentments and regrets. The second creates a new, positive story to believe in.
It’s really a matter of programming. Will you program your thoughts toward the resentments and negativity? Or, will you choose to see positive things to enjoy now or in the future? The programming is what you choose to put in your mind.
Sure, you can make a case for being duped, manipulated and a hundred other terrible betrayals that are festering. But does it make sense to wallow in past defeats? Will that take you anywhere good? Thus, it’s recommended that you change your story about divorce. Instead of unfair treatments and past regrets, make a new, positive story about your situation, emphasizing hope and the great things that lie ahead.
It doesn’t matter whether your divorce is in Michigan or elsewhere, because these principles are universal. Psychologists today emphasize a miraculous new insight: the life you choose is the one you’ll get! If your internal thoughts are weaving a story of horror and misery, that’s the life you’ll be living. If it’s a positive and hopeful story, then you’ll attract those forces and that’s the life you’ll find and experience.
Source: Huffington Post, “Divorce Advice: How To Have A Happy Divorce,” Dr. Lisa Kaplin, July 22, 2013